October 27, 2022

expert

Minute read

Living Your Truest And Best Life Isn’t Always Cocktails and Sunsets at the Beach

What is the other side of integrity?

I live an unconventional business vagabond’s life, and my hypothesis for living my life is this:

When I step into the Integrity of my True and Authentic Self, I heal. As I heal, I liberate my Spirit.

When I become free, I become abundant. As I become abundant, I become prosperous.

As I prosper, my impact on the world expands.

Living an Authentic Life is as Freeing as it Sounds. 

Yet, stepping into integrity is much like disinfecting a wound: When you first apply the medicine, it stings. But the wound gets better quickly after that. If you don’t disinfect the wound, the infection will spread through your body, and so does the pain or discomfort.

Similarly, there is a very real pain that unfolds when disinfecting a life that is not lived authentically or with integrity. Real doubts, fears, and judgments come up during this process.

Integrity

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

“The process of coming into your true self and acting in alignment with your thoughts and emotions.”

Imagine this scenario:

If you’re a P!NK fan like me, you might hum the melody of “Runaway” as you’re reading this. If you’re human like me, you’ll recognize yourself in this scenario.

In “Runaway,” P!NK talks about what I call the other side of integrity: “This life makes no sense to me,”“I was just trying to be myself,” “So I had to run away.

She sings about the fears, doubts, and second guesses that came up once she turned a corner and began to literally run into her True Self.

Click the picture of the book above to download your own personal guide, transforming you from “doing” to “being”.

Most people come to a point in their lives where things suddenly stop making sense. Whether it is literally or metaphorically, we yearn to run away into a life that makes more sense and find a place where we can just be our True Selves. 

A place where we are celebrated, not just tolerated. A place where we belong, not just fit in.

Once that yearning is audible and you acknowledge it, you start to seek. Some seek in an Ashram in India, others within energy healing, yet others in books, religions, new hobbies or degrees, a divorce, or the selling of a house. Eventually, you start to seek within yourself instead of out in the world. Sometimes as a coach, I get to help people along that journey.

True Self

a child stands in front of a bright yellow wall that reads "believe in yourself"
Photo by Katrina Wright on Unsplash

In that case, a coaching session start out easy enough. I ask, “If I was a genie inside a magic lamp, which three wishes would you have for me?” The client might giggle, imagining me as a larger-than-life blue genie, then takes a breath, fully intending to respond and … one of two things happens:

Either, a slew of things they do not want spills out. Valid and important.

Or, radio silence, followed by a stunned face, followed by a lot of emotions or distraction tactics—which I myself, of course, have tried plenty of.

Then the session takes a turn:

I don’t even know what I want anymore. I’ve just been buried in all the things that need to get done.

If I dared live that life, what would I have to sacrifice? What would I lose? Wouldn’t I alienate others? Who would I upset?

That life, that being you so yearn for during the occasional daydream, threatens staples of your life such as financial security, emotional safety, your credit score, inheritance, acceptance of your community, birth family, and more.

If you were to envision living the life you want, what would you stand to lose? And how does that feel?

Often, when we step into our True Selves, those closest to us exude one of two reactions: they lean in or drift away. It seems easier to focus on those that get closer to you, feel more aligned with you, etc.

However, it is most important to acknowledge those that drift away, because they often leave behind bleeding—if not festering—wounds in our souls and hearts.

That is the other side of integrity: purgatory, where the only way through is … through.

Healing

Facing what comes next is the process of healing. This is where we acknowledge limiting beliefs, internalized judgments, engage with our Inner Critic, and turn obstacles into opportunities, wounds into scars, and loss into gain.

This ain’t easy, and a cocktail at the beach might be the last thing it feels like. This is where you deal with your Inner Critic, and where you must face the fact that evolving the relationship with yourself is, in turn, affecting the nature of the relationships you have with others. You’re letting go of one identity and stepping into a new identity. It stings. It feels like pouring disinfectant over an open flesh wound. And that’s okay. It’s okay to hurt. It helps to enroll in coaching, therapy, or to seek a community of like-minded people to support you in keeping on going.

We should be grateful for these parts, as well, because these beliefs, judgements, critics, and obstacles have brought us here in the first place. If the fear was here to help you come into yourself, what would that be like?

Liberating Spirit and Abundance

In healing past wounds and actively putting one foot in front of the other into integrity, you get to update your beliefs and choose new ones. Doing so gives us an opportunity to forgive ourselves for old beliefs and judgments. This is where you are moving from a scarce mindset into one of abundance.

Freedom

Photo by Kristina V on Unsplash

I promise, on the other side of integrity—if you keep doing the work of healing and compassionately coming into yourself—is true freedom: the freedom to choose where and who you want to be, and what you want to do. The freedom to say no. The freedom to love yourself completely and unconditionally. And the freedom to know that you are enough and that there is always enough love to go around.

As you go through this part of the journey, it helps to know why you’re doing this: what future are you doing this for? What being, purpose, authentic self are you doing all this for? And why not start to grow, prosper, and expand right now?

If you’re ready for this simple, but transformative step into embodying your future self, click here, and feel the magic begin.

About the Author: Dina-Marie Weineck

Dina-Marie unleashes the leadership abilities of creatives, entrepreneurs, and business vagabonds who affect social change through innovation, seek success on their own terms, and don’t shy away from the proverbial spotlight while cherishing the intentionally slowed-down moment of solitude. A musical-theater veteran and formerly entrenched with the classical music industry, her clients begin to step into the spotlight of their own possibilities as she lovingly pushes them to design a bold future where their personal lives are no longer the sacrificial lamb of their professional success.

When humans commit to working with Dina-Marie, they realize the vision they are driven by, seeking to live and affect change from the inside out. As clients courageously jump into the unknown, dare to dream bigger, and love more deeply than ever before, Dina-Marie submits that a scarred heart offers more intimately experienced love than a forever-protected one. So, together, they identify the most daring and frightening dreams and reveal a path towards realizing them. In doing so, they are kept company by serious humor, fierce commitment, and easeful tenacity. The outcomes are manyfold; personal, professional, and financial. As clients create a multi-faceted life, one question is omnipresent: “What does your business have to do for you?”

A native of Leipzig/Germany, former transplant to Los Angeles, and perpetual traveler at present, Dina-Marie’s company is completely remote while it lends the flexibility to regularly meet with clients for in-person experiences around the world. Her vision is fueled by her arts administration background, notably with the Detroit Symphony, The Sphinx Organization, the Segerstrom Center, and Los Angeles Chamber Orchestra. In Germany, she served as Executive Director of musica assoluta, a Hanover-based orchestra, and supports the planning of the annual German Orchestras’ Conference. Click here to visit her website.

 

 


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