When you give feedback, focus on positive comments about what’s working. What’s rewarded is repeated. Make a habit of asking for feedback from people you trust and respect. Make sure both giving and receiving feedback are always done in the service of a goal that the receiver cares about. And if you do find yourself the target of some clumsily delivered or hurtful feedback, remember that the interpretation of that feedback – and the decision about whether to act on it – is within your control. Over the years, I’ve kept this response handy for when people say, “Kimberly, you’re hyperactive!” I look them straight in the eyes, and with a big smile on my face, reply “Thank you for noticing! I do bring a great deal of energy and passion to my work. In fact, it was you who inspired this in me!” Stunned silence is the usual response. Sometimes what people think of us is none of our business.
